Wet ‘N Wild

F has been campaigning to go to Wet’NWild  for the last two or three birthdays, but until now we have always managed to squirm out of it. ( It’s too far to drive, too expensive, too cold at this time of year). 

This year his father and I decided to overcome our theme-park-phobia. We went the whole hog: Seven boys, two carloads, 8.30 a.m. departure. We took sausages for the barbeque ( & tofu for the vegetarian), tomato sauce and a chocolate birthday cake baked by D. We took cups, plates, chips, fruit, hummus, the Esky, candles for the cake, matches, towels. Etc. etc. 

We arrived just before Wet’NWild opening time at 10, and left when it closed at  chilly 4p.m. The boys ran around excitedly from one thrilling drenching experience to the next, returning every hour or so, breathless and dripping wet, for a quick pit-stop gobble of  food before dashing off  again.

D & I  spent most of the day in a large pavillion full of empty picnic tables, near the closed-for-Winter ‘Calypso Beach’.

Our day passed gently enough - we sat at our picnic table and flicked through the weekend papers. We prepared for the next feeding frenzy, and cleared  away the half-eaten remains of the previous one - buns, biscuits, pieces of carrot abandoned in the rush to get back to the action. And we  shooed  those damn crows away. Turn your back for a moment and they were plucking bread rolls off the table. 

All this to a soundtrack of thumping doof beat pumped out from speakers around the park. If they’d turned the music off it might have felt almost peaceful, in a dead, off-season-ish way.You might have heard  some squealing and splashing and probably the chug of all those pumps sending mega-litres of heated water down slides and tunnels and into waves and whirlpools and fake waterfalls. The place was half-empty, which suited us fine - no crowds, no queues. 

It’s totally tacky of course. All concrete, and synthetic grass, and faded gaudiness. The fake beach, the huge carpark, the badlands-feelingy, with the Highway zooming past outside. But the boys were euphoric. The Black Hole,The Tornado, Kamikaze. It was so cool, it was awesome. 

I had a brief wild ride on what the boys regarded as a pretty tame water-slide ( You screamed, on that little kiddie thing?) Then a nice soak in a hot spa, then repaired back to the picnic shelter and the Weekend Magazine.

My personal highlight: late arvo, after the cake, the song etc.: My now -13 year old boy said “This is the best birthday I’ve ever had ” And hugged me - in front of all his friends!